Sometimes the controls simply stop working. It plays like a mobile game, it has the content of a mobile game - it's a darn mobile game being played on a PC. There are objects you need to jump over or spindash underneath, there are robots to destroy with the trusty spindash, and there are rings to collect and completely identical bosses to defeat. The main gameplay takes place in the often-used-in-third-party-entries Seaside Hill from Sonic Heroes and features gameplay elements from all over. Sonic Dash cribs visual cues from Sonic Generations, Lost World, and Sonic Heroes - and borrows aspects from throughout the entire series. Where this game has a decent edge is with the respect paid to the license. I said I wanted to buy a character pack and then backed out. The game does assure us that wasting any of our real, vital, limited money will result in the removal of all non-SEGA adverts from the app. Each can be earned (albeit slowly) by playing or purchased with real useful tangible money that we need in order to survive our everyday lives. Sonic can be upgraded by spending 'rings', and characters can be unlocked by spending 'red rings'. You can grind for a few hours to unlock most of them, but do you think anybody is realistically likely to do that? The game comes with only Sonic the sad looking wreck available, while the other characters are locked behind a pay wall. Your character scutters off at a fast speed, en route to slam into objects and scenic fixtures unless you guide and babysit them and do all the work. This is one of those endless runners, the genre Pepsiman pioneered quite frankly ages ago.

I'm more just pissed off with myself for downloading it. It's a state-of-the-art laptop which can run the latest Steam games on graphically intensive settings. The last time I checked, my PC isn't a mobile phone or tablet. Speaking of which, Sonic Dash is one such free-to-play ported-from-mobile low grade shovelware experience. Now on your tablet-style interface desktop PC operating system, you can download 'apps' from the Windows Store, which is like going backwards five hundred years.

Freemium bullplop has seeped into the world of PCs, where it certainly doesn't belong nor ever did.

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